White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
