I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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