Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
