when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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