I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
