Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
FUCK WHALES
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
