I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Sorry my hands just texted you
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
