"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
