i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Your cock deserves a montage
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
