If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
