ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
