i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
