Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
