Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
