Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
