3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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