Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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