He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
