I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
