Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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