Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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