I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
