a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You pole danced in your parka.
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