you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
