I met the friendliest cop last night
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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