Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
