I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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