The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
