you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
