omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
