I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
