she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
