You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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