She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It was a blind-side dick pic.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
