I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
