i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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