clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
