I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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