My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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