He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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