It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
