So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
