He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
