i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
