he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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