i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
