stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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