I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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