it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
