After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
