The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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