it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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